Away From You
by laffertyluver23
Summary: Part of the 'Falling Into You' verse. A glimpse of Paul when he was away in the army. Slash.


**Title: **Away From You

**Primary Players: **Paul

**Rating: **M

**Summary: **Glimpse of Paul when he was away in the army

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Twilight Saga.

**A/N: **This part of the "Falling Into You" verse. You can read this alone, but I do recommend reading FIY first. Also, GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS! I very much support the men and women overseas, so please do not read this and think I do not.

* * *

Right before bed is the only time I can escape the sounds of gunshots and last breaths. My mornings are spent listening to endless strings of obscenities that can only be followed by a chorus of 'yes sir'. And the afternoons where I don't have to hear a grown man break down and start crying for his 'momma' are a blessing from God.

If you ask me how long I've been fighting in this war I could give two shits about, my response is like a reflex: six months, eight days, and thirteen hours. You ask me what the fuck I just did five seconds ago and I look at you with a blank stare on my face.

Out here in the desert everything is the same. The sand is tan. The tents we sleep in are tan. Our uniform is tan. Our fucking skin is tan. We are little tan soldiers, here to protect our country.

The other guys keep their sanity by writing home to loved ones. I watch as they sneak off to read letters from their parents, and I whistle in approval when they show off half-naked pictures their girlfriends sent them.

I get letters from my mother on occasion. In most of them she updates me about her sickness, and each letter is worst than the last so I've stopped reading them. I can never hurt her, so I write back to a letter I've never even opened reassuring her that I'm fine.

For the last six months my fellow soldiers have been my family; all fucked up brothers I love but would have never wanted in real life. Each man has a strong personality that's unique to him, even the shy ones. It's almost like we're in high school and have roles to fill.

Denton is the clown. Not just because of his red hair and goofy smile, but because the Texan is always playing a prank on someone. He's the oldest out of all of us at twenty-seven but the most immature. He can be annoying as fuck sometimes but apparently the ladies love him because every other week a new girl is writing his dumb ass.

Trey is the popular one that everyone likes and if there were women with us, they would all flock to him. Unlike most of the marines out here, he has learned to walk the line between hardened soldier and human being. He's strong and masculine and will "let the Compton show" if need be, but will be the first to lend a much needed ear after it all has become too much.

Luke is a complete nerd. We rag on him when he tries to tell us about the last DragonCon convention he went to, or when he tries to explain the "epic-ness" of Star Wars. His lithe body is muscular from all of the training and he doesn't look like a stereotypical nerd. If it wasn't for the fact that he practically bleeds all that is sci-fi, he might have actually had more female contact than just his mother.

Steve's fucking psycho. We say he's bipolar, he claims he's just "passionate". The Puerto Rican is always getting angry over the slightest thing, and he's ready to fight a guy he claimed was his best friend two seconds before. I'm convinced he has a Napoleon complex, but I like having teeth so I don't suggest it to him.

Evan would be the loner. He's the youngest out of all of us and his baby face makes him look even younger than his eighteen years. Most of the guys don't talk to him much, but we all look out for our "baby brother". Out of all of them I'm probably closest with Evan.

On the third day out in the desert he showed me a picture of him at his high school graduation. He was smiling into the camera, his parents on either side of him. His hair had been longer then, thick and dark and it waved out but didn't quite curl. All three of them had the same almond shaped eyes that were the lightest blue. Evan's smile was his best feature even if he only had one dimple instead of two.

I remember that the longer I stared at the picture this feeling of longing grew bigger in my chest. I'd handed back his picture and as I looked into his baby face, too innocent to be thousands of miles from home fighting in a war, it hit me.

Evan reminded me of Emmett.

His body was smaller, and a few features were off, but the two could easily pass for brothers. But not only did he look like Emmett, he also had so many qualities that reminded me of the man I loved. Evan came from a religious, apple pie family, that was completely functional and loved each other.

He was too nice for his own good and though he didn't talk much with the other guys because their conversations were always too raunchy for him, he wouldn't be able to judge them if he wanted to. The guy was a saint amongst sinners.

I found myself falling for him more and more each day. I like to think it was because he was a nice guy, but I knew it was solely because of his liking to Emmett. It was hard to admit that if it wasn't for the resemblance I wouldn't give a fuck about the kid. My heart had broken the morning I left Emmett but Evan helped me to forget that a huge part of me was missing.

Night has fallen and after a quick shower it is time to go to sleep. I look over at the bunk next me and watch as Evan's lips move in a quick prayer. I smile at the memories his actions cause me. As if he can sense my eyes on him, Evan cracks his eyes open and turns his head to look at me.

"Goodnight," I whisper through the darkness. Evan just flashes me a one dimpled smile.

I choose to escape at night, when I'm lying in my bed and everyone is pretending to be asleep. I fold my hands behind my head and let my mind wander to the days before I enlisted. To the time right after I came back and right before I left again. To when Emmett said he loved me.

My heart always jumps when Emmett crosses my mind. The love I feel for him scares me more than the war does. All I have to do is think about the night right before I left, when his body was pressed up against mine and his blue eyes were shining up at me with love, and I forget about the desert.

I close my eyes and try desperately to remember his face. I think about him every night, but I'm always afraid that one night he won't be able to come to me in my dreams and what will I do then?

He comes to me though and I smile in the darkness. My mind has chosen to replay the first and only time we made love. The way he looked into my eyes and said "I want you to make love to me" still makes goose bumps break out across my skin.

He was a virgin and a preacher's son. He shouldn't have been so ready to have sex with a guy like me, but he was, and I'm still thankful.

My body starts to flush as I remember undressing him and revealing the perfect alabaster skin beneath his clothes. My hands tingle from snaking up to caress his sides and rubbing patterns into the dark hair that sprinkles his abdomen.

He looked so beautiful lying naked underneath me. His thighs brushed against either side of my hips. The wolf pendant I had given him laid heavily on his sternum as a reminder of his love for me. This part of my memories always makes me moan, but I already have my forearm pressed against my mouth to not wake anyone.

I remember how the tight heat of him contrasted with the cool skin of his ass in my hands. The muscles flexed as they sucked me deeper inside him, contracting around me. A ribbon of pleasure had begun to coil in my groin as I'd watched myself methodically sink in and out of him. I had never seen something so fucking beautiful in my life, and I still haven't.

It hadn't taken long for us to get to the point where our bodies had begun to shake with the need to come. Emmett was coming undone right beneath me, chanting strings of sweet sentiments that wouldn't have effected me like they had if it had been anyone else.

He had been fucking breathtaking when he came. His face had been one of pure pleasure and I had gotten him there. I'd slowed my thrust to watch the streams of white flow from him and onto his glistening stomach. His ass had clenched me so tightly I remember being surprised I didn't come right when he did.

My body burned and my dick pulsated painfully as the memory of us climaxing forced its way through my mind. The thought of Emmett's yells as I had pounded the last of me into him had me getting closer and closer to coming in my bunk.

"_Fuck Paul_."

_.Bam. _My balls had made a loud slapping sound against his ass that had sounded like gunshots in the distance.

"_B-baby, fuck… God, sweet fuck!" _

_.Bam._

"_Oh God, Paul.."_

_..Bam._

"Paul!"

The last one was louder and more distraught. The voice was not one of pleasure like the ones before it, but of someone in the worst pain imaginable. The voice was from someone trying to hang the fuck on to life.

"Paul! Help me! Help me please, I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I just want to go home. Help me Paul, help me go home!"

I watched as Emmett's naked body changed so that it was clothed in a pair of army fatigues. He was still underneath me but his blissful face was contorted in pain, his blood now drenching me where his sweat use to be.

"I don't want to die Paul, I just want to go home." he sobbed. I looked down at the face of the man I loved. The lower half of his body was mangled, and I watched as the life flowed out from his abdomen. Emmett's hands clung to my lapels, afraid that if he let go he would die.

I placed my hand on his cheek and for the first time I started to cry. "It's going to be okay, I'm going to save you. I will _not_ let you die in this fucking desert!"

"Please, I just want to go home," he whispered. Blood had begun to bubble up to the surface of his mouth and was blocking his air way.

My tears blurred his beautiful face. "Just don't die. Please, don't leave me." I cradled him to me. His bloodied cheek was already cooling against me.

Where was everyone else? Where the fuck was everyone else? We were suppose to be a family, we where suppose to be a brotherhood, a fucking unit, we were suppose to have each other's fucking back. Where the _fuck_ was everyone?

"Paul," his voice could barely come through the blood that pooled in his mouth.

"No, no, no. Keep your eyes open, Em. Keep your eyes open baby," I started to shake him violently. "Emmett!"

"Emmett!"

"Emmett!"

"Evan!"

"EVAN!"

I felt strong arms shaking my body and a dark face shouting down at me. "Paul! Wake up man, you were dreaming."

I looked around to the sea of eyes embarrassed for me. They focused on everything but the guy having the nervous breakdown in the early hours of the morning. I turned to the bunk beside me, searching for the understanding eyes of Evan. And then I remembered.

"Evan-"

"He's gone man. He's gone, remember?" Trey wrapped his dark arms around my head and pulled me to his chest. "You're going to be okay. We will all be okay."

Evan was dead. I had been there when the life drifted from his young face, the face that mirrored Emmett's. Emmett's baby blues and curly hair had stared back at me as I had looked at the lifeless body of Evan. Will the only way I get to see Emmett again be in a box? Will I even get to see him again? Will I get to make love to him again?

"I need to go home." I breathed into Trey's stomach.

"We all do."


End file.
